The spat between Donald Trump and Elon Musk evokes an enduring adage. “Never wrestle with a pig. You both get dirty, and the pig likes it.”
Most would embrace the wisdom of choosing your fights. But what should a leader do when they’re on the receiving end in the public spotlight?
A local resident lets rip at a community meeting. A manager is taken to task at a town hall meeting. Or a customer adopts the subtle bearing of a human hairdryer.
While advice will change depending on the circumstances, there are a few tried and tested tactics that ensure you’ll live to fight another day. Not only that, but an effective response can enhance the way people think about you.
First and foremost, remember that you’re in charge. You have the power to choose a response that turns a one-way barrage into two-way communication.
Let them speak without interrupting. They will likely feel that their gripes have not been heard and, therefore, that they have not been respected. You can remove some of the sting by showing with body language and eye contact that you are listening.
Take a breath to take charge of yourself. This has the effect of countering the fight or flight response. An added advantage is that this gives you a moment to pause and prepare your response.
Acknowledge emotions. While the person’s views may be downright wrong, they will be strongly held. It is possible to empathise while not necessarily validating with phrases like “I hear how passionate you are about this” or “I can tell this means a lot you”. If they’re hostile, tell them you want to continue this conversation but that it needs to be respectful.
Seek a resolution. Ask “What are some of the ways we could start addressing this?” or “What could we do differently?” This has the added benefit of putting the onus on the aggrieved to be part of the solution.
Say sorry if this is appropriate and promise to make amends. Most importantly, follow through on your promise. Nothing scars like a broken promise.
None of this is easy to do in the moment. But these skills can be honed with practice to save your bacon.
Three Plus media and presentation training sessions teach business professionals how to prepare properly to speak well. Good processes lead to reduced nerves and strong outcomes. Three Plus also works with business leaders to help them prepare for conference keynotes, senate estimate hearings or significant corporate events.